you wanna dance, i'll bet you do

Lady Sovereign - I Got You Dancing

The funeral was uneventful. I felt like I was in a room full of familiar-looking strangers. There's talk of a family reunion this summer. How will I manage to get out of it? I'd rather not see any of those people ever.

We've had some nice warm weather here this week, the snow is melting during the day and turning into ice overnight. Oh it is SO my favorite time of year....who doesn't love the prospect of bodily injury every time they walk out the door?

In the past week, I have changed the furniture in my living room at least four times. I ended up putting it back exactly the way I had it. I was perfectly happy with it, my mom decided I should try something new and rather than argue with her, I gave in. She didn't like any of the changes either, so allowed me to put it back the way I had it without comment.

I had hoped to spend this long weekend getting more cleaning done than I did. Oh well, maybe next time. This song gets a lot of radio play around here lately and it's a great song to clean to. The video...well. Misguided is too kind a word.

oh death!

Not a lot going on. My mom's oldest sister died Tuesday. What is sad is that I had to check my LiveJournal blog to verify the day because I couldn't remember. It means so little to me that she died. I feel bad that she's dead, don't get me wrong. But it's similar to hearing on the news that some guy died. I just don't feel particularly sad.

My mom's family is so screwed up and they are so hateful to each other that my mom didn't even get a call when her sister went into the hospital LAST THURSDAY. One of her sisters called her after the other died.

This sister was technically my godmother. But we've never been close, she never tried to get to know me at all.

I have to go to the funeral because my super-concerned-with-outward-appearances brother would kill me if I didn't go.

I'd rather be at work.

A week before my high school graduation, a fellow senior in my 200-member class killed himself. It was the most surreal experience: leaving high school behind was emotional enough. The suicide of someone I was in choir with and had known for six years just made everything strange and I felt so disconnected from everything that entire week.

After senior prom (which I did not attend), the boy who killed himself hosted a party with a few other friends in a field behind his step-father's business (small town Kentucky). I went to the party with some friends and stayed out all night. Less than a month later, he was found in that same field with a gunshot wound to the head.

I'm thinking about him tonight because a facebook friend from high school mentioned him in one of those "25 random things about me" posts and so now he's on my mind.

When I originally started on facebook, I had planned to just use it for my college friends and Gomez forum people. I made the mistake of friending someone from high school who I wanted to find out what he had been up to and the floodgates opened. I haven't spoken to any of these people since June 7, 1996 and they're all adding me to their friend lists.

I'm tempted to just delete them all. I might just do that.

I don't like dwelling on painful memories, and high school was mostly that. I didn't attend my 10-year reunion, I have no desire to attend the 15-year.

But they keep adding me. And I'm too polite to say no.

In other news, Gomez announced a spring tour that does not involve the midwest or west coast. So, I'm thinking summer will be when I see them again. I had hoped to see them in more than one city, reconnect with some forum members, maybe in Chicago or Milwaukee. Right now, current financial situations means there's no way in hell I can go to see them anywhere else but here, which is bumming me out.

Also, they're still trying to figure out a way to cut my pay at work by as much as $7 an hour.

Maybe things will be better this summer.

Obama love

I watched the swearing-in and the inaugural speech today. I walked into the break room right as he was about to be sworn in and I stayed for the entire speech. I only had 15 minutes but of course it all lasted longer than that. So, I got a tardy mark today (lost out on 7 minutes of pay). Oh well, it was more than worth it. Talk about history.

After the speech started, two of my co-workers, whom I did not know, came in and watched it with me. They were both black women. It was just amazing to watch and we talked about how in the past we never cared about elections as strongly as we did about this one.

When I saw the mall, and the nearly 2 million (or more?) people crowded in, some miles away, I was overwhelmed. It was so moving to see so many people caring so much about this new president. It's like 3/4 of the country stopped for a half hour.

My co-workers who were McCain supporters were very subdued today. Which was nice.

Beyonce sang "At Last" for the first dance between President and Mrs. Obama. They looked so nice up there on stage together. It is so obvious that they adore each other. It's beautiful to behold.

President Obama. Boy does that sound nice.

how cold is it?

it's so cold....

black ice!!!!

I grew up in Minnesota and have so far lived about 2/3 of my life here. I have heard of this concept of black ice but have so far been lucky enough to avoid it. The past week, there have been hundreds of accidents around the metro due to black ice, lots of my coworkers have called in late to work because the roads have been so bad with all the accidents.

This morning, when the temperature was -22, I was driving to work and I hit a patch of black ice. The road looked perfectly clear, almost dry. Suddenly, the car lurched to the right, then the left and I was completely out of control. Luckily there was no one in the lane next to me and no one near enough ahead or behind me to cause anyone else any threat of danger from my car. I was freaked out, worried that the car was going to go into a ditch. My mom, riding in the passenger seat, was screaming. I remained calm and steered my way out of the skid.

As we drove along, my mom asked me, "Were you shitting your pants during that?"

"No, to be able to shit my pants, that would mean I had a relaxed rectum. I was CLENCHING!"

We had a good laugh. My mom actually complemented my handling of the driving and not freaking out even afterwards.

I am so freaking ready for spring.

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted!

Christmas was non-eventful. We made far too many cookies again. I am so glad that I don't live in the same house as all those cookies. Less temptation.

New Year's was also non-eventful. Spent it alone again....no big surprise there.

I came up with a fantastic disc for the Gomez forum swap, in my opinion. I burned dozens upon dozens of CDs on New Year's Eve and got to the post office at about 4:30 (closing at 5:00) to mail them all out. I used up two sets of ink cartridges in my printer for artwork and even though I bought 200 blank CDs, I have less than half a stack left! So much paper, so much ink. There has got to be a better way.

At least there won't be another one until next year, if at all.

At work, they announced last week that they were moving desks for my team, so I had to pack up all my crap and change floors. The new spot is fine, but it's further away from a window so I feel a bit disconnected from the natural world.

Maybe when it's warmer out I'll go for walks outside during my lunch break. It will be good for me and I could use the sun exposure. The weather right now is barely conducive to walking one block, I won't be voluntarily going out for any reason. We've had lots of snow lately and it's lovely, but I am pretty much done with winter.

My department has two offices currently, one here and one in Seattle. We got an announcement today that they are closing the Seattle office. The people there have the option to move to Boise, Salt Lake City or Des Moines. They'll have a slightly different job but basically my office is going to be it for handling most of the collections for the company. This is really really shitty because they are going to change the office hours to an hour later which means I will either have to work slightly later or, if I'm lucky, NEVER FUCKING GET OUT OF MY CURRENT CRAPPY SHIFT. I know, it could be worse. I could be the one losing my job. But Christ almighty. I have worked there for NINE YEARS and the best shift I can get makes me work until 6 pm? What the HELL?

I shouldn't complain. Some people can't even get jobs despite being qualified. I'm pretty stupid for complaining in the first place, but it just feels like every time I think I'm getting ahead at the company and may be jumping up the seniority list and therefore be eligible for earlier shifts, they do something like this that knocks me right back down.

Yes, I am ungrateful.

he's fine

probably just acid reflux disease.

Whew.

He even shoveled my snow this morning for me.

I love my dad.

How rude!

I didn't work on Friday. I have been drifting in and out of consciousness all weekend. I managed to clean out one closet Saturday afternoon, which I'm pretty proud of.

At 2 am this morning, my mom called me to tell me she took my dad to the hospital. He went to work at 11 and came home dizzy and with chest pains. He was already driving home when he called my mom to tell her, she could have killed him for driving in that condition. But, that's my dad. Stubborn to a fault.

I had trouble falling back asleep, at 6 am she picked me up and I went to her house with her. I tucked her into bed and took care of the dogs. I went back home for a few hours, slept a bit and then went back to her house at 10. She went back to the hospital, armed with clean clothes and a disc man and CDs for my dad to listen to. Friday afternoon I got a copy of Pink Floyd, Live at Pompeii that friend of mine burned for me. I had forgotten to tell my dad about it Saturday night when I saw him, so it was a nice surprise for him in the hospital. Of course, since I'm still so sick with this cold, I can't go to the hospital to see him.

I stayed at my mom's house because she had bought a new stove (our Thanksgiving turkey took way too long to cook this year, her oven has been on the fritz for a while) and someone needed to be there to let them in. It started snowing kind of heavily and when the delivery guys came, they tracked snow in everywhere, so I had a bit of mopping up to do. I also cleared the snow on the sidewalk and half of the driveway. Around 3, my mom returned home to get a little bit more sleep. I came back home and shoveled my own sidewalk. The snow is so light and powdery (because it is SO cold right now, the air is super dry) that I used a push broom to clear off my sidewalks despite there being a good inch of snow on the ground or more.

I was really annoyed by some neighbors of mine who used their snow blower on their property, their next door neighbors property, the house next to mine but turned around and didn't finish my property. I was already out there and about half done, but hello! I could use some help here! Nevermind that the house on the other side of me is empty so I shoveled the snow there too.

How rude!

I have got to get motivated to do something, I just can't help but fall asleep randomly all weekend. I may or may not go to work tomorrow. It might be a relief to have something to focus on besides the current drama. My dad is going to be ok. Early test results show he's not had a heart attack, there is no blockage at all in his heart (his father died of a heart attack along with most of his family on that side so this is good news). But it still sucks not knowing what is wrong with him. And my mom is doing ok as well, she always does well in a crisis, thank god. I don't know what I would have done if I had to prop her up or whatever. I'm so out of it, I feel like I'm just going through the motions.

*cough*

In the past 24 hours, I have gone from having a slight throat tickle to full-on craptastic cold from hell. I also have scaly-looking hands, windburn on my face and chapped lips. I am going through lotion like it's going out of style and IT'S NEVER ENOUGH.

I hate winter in Minnesota. The air is so insanely dry. My hair looks like crap, there's so much static electricity that I'm afraid to touch anything.

I'm going to bed now. I may or may not work tomorrow. There's pros and cons to going into work. We'll see how I feel in seven hours.

lights! camera! inaction!

For about a month and a half now, one of my neighbors across the street has left a super bright flood light on all night. The light is on the front of the house and its exact positioning means that it shines RIGHT in my eyes when I'm sitting in my chair in my living room to watch television. How annoying. In the past week, every few hours or so the light is turned off and then turned back on a few minutes later. The people that live there are pretty nice, a couple in their early 60s. I like to speculate that the wife thinks her husband is nuts for leaving this light on all night and so she turns it off and then he walks by and notices it off and turns it back on. When it's on and shinging at me, I'm sorely tempted to throw a rock at it to break it. Of course I'd never do that, but it's tempting. It's like a spotlight when you're on stage, that thing. The guy probably special ordered it.

Down the block, out of the view of my front window but I can see from my bedroom window, the lone decorated house on the block has its lights on every night. I love looking at Christmas lights, especially when the ground is covered in snow (not a ton yet, we're supposed to get more tonight). Last night, I think they forgot to turn off the lights and they burned until after 2 am (when I went to sleep). It was kind of nice to lay in bed in the dark and see the lights through my window.

I'm not going to have time to put up a tree this year. Between baking, the CD swap, my physical therapy and feeding my internet addiction, I just can't find the time. I'm kind of sad that I'm not doing it, but maybe next year I'll have a full-size tree. It's hard to believe Christmas is already so close. I still feel like Labor Day should be a long way off.

Work has picked up lately, which is awesome. It leaves less time for chatting between calls, but on the other hand it confirms my belief that the company just hired a butt load of people in the event of a strike and not, as the doomsayers were wont to say, a sign that customers were leaving the company in droves. Things will slow down again closer to Christmas, but that is NORMAL, which is comforting.