oh death!

Not a lot going on. My mom's oldest sister died Tuesday. What is sad is that I had to check my LiveJournal blog to verify the day because I couldn't remember. It means so little to me that she died. I feel bad that she's dead, don't get me wrong. But it's similar to hearing on the news that some guy died. I just don't feel particularly sad.

My mom's family is so screwed up and they are so hateful to each other that my mom didn't even get a call when her sister went into the hospital LAST THURSDAY. One of her sisters called her after the other died.

This sister was technically my godmother. But we've never been close, she never tried to get to know me at all.

I have to go to the funeral because my super-concerned-with-outward-appearances brother would kill me if I didn't go.

I'd rather be at work.

A week before my high school graduation, a fellow senior in my 200-member class killed himself. It was the most surreal experience: leaving high school behind was emotional enough. The suicide of someone I was in choir with and had known for six years just made everything strange and I felt so disconnected from everything that entire week.

After senior prom (which I did not attend), the boy who killed himself hosted a party with a few other friends in a field behind his step-father's business (small town Kentucky). I went to the party with some friends and stayed out all night. Less than a month later, he was found in that same field with a gunshot wound to the head.

I'm thinking about him tonight because a facebook friend from high school mentioned him in one of those "25 random things about me" posts and so now he's on my mind.

When I originally started on facebook, I had planned to just use it for my college friends and Gomez forum people. I made the mistake of friending someone from high school who I wanted to find out what he had been up to and the floodgates opened. I haven't spoken to any of these people since June 7, 1996 and they're all adding me to their friend lists.

I'm tempted to just delete them all. I might just do that.

I don't like dwelling on painful memories, and high school was mostly that. I didn't attend my 10-year reunion, I have no desire to attend the 15-year.

But they keep adding me. And I'm too polite to say no.

In other news, Gomez announced a spring tour that does not involve the midwest or west coast. So, I'm thinking summer will be when I see them again. I had hoped to see them in more than one city, reconnect with some forum members, maybe in Chicago or Milwaukee. Right now, current financial situations means there's no way in hell I can go to see them anywhere else but here, which is bumming me out.

Also, they're still trying to figure out a way to cut my pay at work by as much as $7 an hour.

Maybe things will be better this summer.